GHETTO TEARS

In a corner full of beers
im shedding ghetto tears
sirend ringing in my ears
as they come near
bloods flowing in my face
from the gun blast
pulled the trigger, no way out
made up mymind too fast
all the problems i ever had
they couldnt even overcome
the first thought in my mind
was to get my step-daddys gun
thought about doind this, all in a flow
but all my problems added up
i could take it anymore
now all my worries and problems
will be over soon
just as i close my eyes
i see my mom coming inmy room
"please dont try to save my,
cuz i wanna die"
i feel my moms touch as she starts to cry
call this my silence
cuz i cannot speak
shes holding my hand
and constantly kissing me on the cheek
she never loved me
i dont see why shes trying to start now
on this earth, 15 years...
she never once treated me like her own child
in all my family
no one even knew i exist
i should've known west-side or east-side wasnt worth the risk
tell me what i did was wrong
i really dont wanna live long
i wish they would stop and let me die
and then theres all these machines....
is this whats keeping me alive?
i close my eyes and my life flashs by
i ahve no more fears
of my life to end
cuz im tired of shedding ghetto tears

We;re born into a world full of anger
never knew my dad cuz my mom had sex witha stranger
but she would never tell me his name
growin' up i had no real daddy to claim
many men
in and out of her life
everytime she came to tuck me in
a new ones telling me goodnight
many days i missed school
cuz she couldnt take me
she was always hing over from crying night and day
it never mattered to me anyway

at night i would sit in the dark...scared
i was always feeling unprepared
feeling disconnected...no one ever knew
if there was ever an emergency
i dont know any memebers of my family
got death on my mind
cuz of what she put me through
a little child's still trappend inside of me
but she cant come out and play
cuz i got too much responsibility
i cant take this anymore
this time i go to a higher place
to ask them "why?" face to face
soon enough i ahve no more fears
for my life to end
cuz when i die and go to heaven
ill shed no more ghetto tears

John...was my mothers husband soon to be
a good father
but a bad lover to me
i dont know why i felt angry so easily
maybe cuz he was the first, to take my virginity
15 now, and im out living like im grown
i live with my mother
but i think its time i take a visit home
go straight to the room
that used to be mine
in the closet in a box
is my step-daddys 9
hesitated...but what did i ahve to live for?
put the gun to my head
pulled the trigger and i hit the floor
i feel myself floating around
first its dark then a light hits my face
everyones looking down
they look as though they love me
but looks can be deceiving
evrybody in the room is quietly grieving
never told me they loved me before
but this makes them confess
as they lay flowers across my chest
one last look before they put me down
ashes to ashes, dust to dust
as they lower me into the ground

now i have no more fears
cuz my life is at an end
and now that im in heaven
ill shed no more ghetto tears